These are the Hands

Kiss the bride.

Oy. I would like to tell you that I just realized it's been nearly a month since my last post. But I knew how long it has been. I have just been trying to wait until I had good news to share. Not quite yet, I've had some ups and downs with doctors, lab work, and now I'm heading to Houston soon. But that's not what this post is about.

This post is about someone who is often forgotten when people ask how I'm doing, but he feels the same emotions I'm feeling right now. He is someone who has had to put trips to see family and his own doctors' appointments on hold because of my issues. My gentle-giant husband of just over 6 months has taken our vow of "in sickness and in health" seriously and has already seen me in my happiest days and my lowest days in a very short amount of time. I'd be lying if I said it's been easy. It's been downright hard some days. As awesome as it was, I don't think there's any way our Engaged Encounter last April could have come close to preparing us for what our first half-year of marriage would hold: a cancer diagnosis, a surgery, failed attempt radiation, a second surgery, and now a trip to MD Anderson in Houston.

But we're making it. 

And I hope we've seen the worst of it. At least for a while.

Celebrating my 25th birthday in 2011. Love this one.

Our household roles right now are anything but 'traditional' and Mr. K has taken on more than his fair share of responsibilities (seriously. If you need help setting up a venue for a baby shower, call him). We are both growing in so many ways and I truly think through all the really crappy days, enduring cancer together is making us stronger.

This is super sappy, but in some of my really dark moments I've gone back to this one exercise from  Engaged Encounter last year and it turns my angry tears to sobs of sweet memories and joyful hopes for the future. Some may have heard it or seen it at weddings, but here goes. Thanks to Modern Day Southern Belle for posting this version online.

I held Kevin's hands as they said:

These are the hands, young and strong and vibrant with love, that hold yours on your wedding day, as he promises to love you all the days of his life.

These are the hands you will place with expectant joy against your stomach, until he too, feels his child stir within your womb.

These are the hands that look so large and clumsy, yet will be so gentle as he holds your baby for the first time.

These are the hands that will work long hours to earn money for you and your family.

These are the hands that will be nicked and bruised from fixing things around the house to make you more comfortable.

These are the hands that will caress your body through the years, to make the passion of love come alive in you.

These are the hands that will countless times wipe tears from your eyes; tears of sorrow and tears of joy.

These are the hands that will comfort you in illness, and hold you when fear or grief rack your mind.

These are the hands that will tenderly lift your chin and brush your check as they raise your face to look into his eyes; eyes that are filled completely with his overwhelming love and desire for you. 

 And then he held mine:

These are the hands hold yours on your wedding day as she gives you her pledge to love you, and accepts your ring.

These are the hands that are smooth and young and carefree now, but will be lined and rougher, working to make you comfortable.

These are the hands that will hold each child in tender love, soothing them through illness, disciplining them when naughty, and wringing themselves in worry when trouble comes.

These are the hands that will hold your face and wipe tears from your eyes in wonder and awe that you would cry for her.

These are the hands that will hold you in joy, excitement and hope each time she tells you that you are to have another child; that together you have created a new life.

Perhaps these are the hands that will comfort you when you are told you cannot have a child, and will convince you that together you will create a new life in other ways.

These are the hands that through the years will caress your body in the passion of love, to enhance your intimacy.

These are the hands that will enter the Sacrament of Matrimony. These four hands will be your armor and shield against the evils and temptations of the world.

These are the hands that will reach out, first to each other, then united, will spread your love and your sacrament to all they touch.

These are the hands that will ease your parents loneliness as you leave the nest, will first teach your own children the marvels of married life, and will be a sign to friends and strangers alike as to just how wonderful married life can be.
Through these four hands, God will renew His Church. These hands are the hope of a troubled humanity. These are the hands that will change the world.

I can't even read it and manage to keep myself from crying. Maybe because I'm hormonal (dude, WHERE is my thyroid) or maybe it's because it's so real and raw and I'm living this hypothetical life they describe in this exercise. Anyway, I love it and it serves as a powerful reminder to me how perfectly my husband and I were created for each other.